Humor

"The best research for playing a drunk is being a British actor for 20 years."

"I do very well three things: my job, stupidities and children."

"A smile is the best makeup a girl could wear."

"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different."

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."

"Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face."

"Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven."

"The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience."

"The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month."

"People show their character in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable."

"I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."

"If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything."

"In the end, everything is a gag."

"To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it."

"A day without laughter is a day wasted."

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."

"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh."

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes."

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"I drink to make other people interesting."

"Life would be tragic if it weren't funny."

"In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."

"There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor."

"The best color in the whole world is the one that looks good on you."